David A. Fields Consulting Group A Relationship Building Opportunity Your Consulting Firm Shouldn’t Miss
There are a few things you know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, about the process of generating revenue for your consulting firm:
- Relationships are essential to winning consulting engagements.*
- Prospects can be suspicious of your relationship-building overtures, even if your intention is to nourish a personal bond.
- Sending small gifts can inject energy into your business building process. (Particularly if the gifts are chocolate covered almonds… and you send them to yourself to reward your successes.)
Are there times or situations that are particularly ripe for building relationships, for avoiding skepticism and for sending chocolate?
Yes there are.
They can be neatly wrapped up in the pithy saying your 2,000 year-old grandfather used to offer: amicus certus in re incerta cernitur.
Or as your parents would translate around the family dinner buffet:
A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed
In other words, the best time to build a relationship with a contact isn’t when you need more clients, it’s when your contact needs a friend.
It’s when they’re struggling.
Other consultants, who used to claw and scrape for a 15-minute appointment, have abandoned your contact because the odds of winning business have become lower than finding a golden ticket to tour Willy Wonka’s factory.
Two specific examples:
A Friend in Need:
When your contact loses her job, her confidence is shaken, her finances are in doubt, and she certainly can’t promise you a consulting project.
By the third month of her job search, few people are calling her to check in, offer support, encourage her efforts, and lend an ear.
You can, though. You can advise, console, role play, and more.
When she does land a job and she does need consulting help, who will she turn to?
You. Your consulting firm.
What if your contact never pays you back with a project? You’ll still feel richer.
A Friend in Need:
When your contact’s employer is being acquired, his future is in jeopardy, his spending authority has been curtailed, and he worries every statement he utters could dissatisfy his new overlords.
Most providers play it coy, waiting to find out who comes out on top in an acquisition. They don’t expend valuable time on your prospect, when he could be out on his ear in a few months.
You, however, can be the patient, external, safe ear your contact desperately needs during his turbulent transition.
Maybe he survives the inevitable purge, maybe not.
Either way, you were a safe shelter in the storm, and that’s irreplaceable relationship capital.
Being a friend when your contact is in need epitomizes the long play.
It’s betting that relationships you invest in, despite no chance of near-term payback, will deliver consulting jackpots five, 10, or even 20 years down the road.
In truth, it doesn’t matter whether your decision to step in when others have walked away yields lucrative consulting rewards.
You’ll be a wealthier person where it counts most: your relationship bank.
James Taylor lyrics and singing cherubs notwithstanding, there’s a practical truth too:
Consultants who give deeply, generously and unselfishly when their contacts are in need achieve (or exceed) their consulting goals.
Are there other Friend in Need situations when you can add value to a contact?
Text and images are © 2025 David A. Fields, all rights reserved.
A few weeks ago we had a majour freezing rain storm in our area. Trees were down everywhere and there was a lot of property damage. A client of mine has a vacation home 20 minutes away from were we live and I knew he would be worried about his property. I drove over to his place, took pictures and sent them to him showing that luckily the house and barn did not sustain any damage. He was grateful for this small act of kindness.
Wow, Michael. That’s a truly lovely example of the “Friend in Need” concept in action. Thank you for exemplifying the practice and also for sharing your example with me and other readers.
Certainly if your contact leaves full-time employment and starts his or her own business, your help and experience will be richly appreciated.
+1. When we started out, a friendly former colleague referred us to his former team member who had struck out on his own a year prior. And he sent us to David’s books! That conversation, and David’s work, gave us a lot of confidence in what we are doing to try to grow the business. We went from feeling lost, to “not lost,” after that one conversation.
Wow, Blake. Thank that former colleague for me, too! Amazing example of how a single, supportive, friendly conversation can create enormous impact.
Thank you for sharing!
That’s absolutely right, Stuart. Even if they go to another corporation, your help and experience will be appreciated. Just being a friend is appreciated!
(And I appreciate your sharing your thinking on the article, Stuart!)
People in-between jobs are a great source of conversations. If anything, they are less busy and more likely to take a call – even when they are very senior. After a call, I continue to ping them with “how is the job hunt?” messages every 3-4 months. When they land elsewhere, the relationship is stronger.
I wish more people reached out to me when I was in between jobs earlier in my career. It was not a fun time, and I certainly remember who kept me in the loop and who didn’t.
Another perfect example, Olga. Thank you for providing perspective from both sides of the table. It’s easy to forget how painful and unnerving it is to be a corporate person between jobs. Your practice of providing moral support during the job hunt is a great illustration of how how to be caring during tough times for your contacts.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Olga. Very valuable!
Hi David, this is timely as I’m trying to determine whether I should act as a ‘friend in need’ or push-back due to scope creep. A client colleague (middle-mgmt level), who’s expressed various challenges with a newly acquired business. Our current scope (not hourly, but having ‘Value Milestones’, learned from you) does not include this new business, but we’d love to get the work. Last week my colleague asked us to assist with an ‘urgent’ issue regarding the new business, spent an hour on a meeting with multiple client attendees, including leadership, my colleague and others. I’m struggling with how best to approach the client to recognize the benefits of having us formally engaged with the newly acquired business and not only continue to build the relationship (i.e. perform favors).
Interesting situation, Ben. It doesn’t sounds like your client is a “friend in need.” Rather, they are a client that has a Need. Those are very different. Individuals in dire circumstances that couldn’t hire you and for whom you don’t do consulting work, is not at all the same as an organization that has the means to hire you and is asking you to ply your trade on their behalf.
What you’re dealing with is straight-up scope creep. You have to decide how far you’re willing to let it creep before you give the client a decision on whether to officially expand scope.
Thanks for raising the important distinction between scope creep and being a Friend in Need, Ben!
Big thanks for explaining how you view the distinction. Wish me luck securing an additional SOW for this separate work.
Go get ’em, Ben! Let me know how you fare.
Great advice David! Olga is right and builds on your concept well — felt the same as she said when I was out and needed an ear or advice. Make a genuine impact and it’ll pay off, mentally and financially. Don’t look for the reward, just look to help. Keep writing!!!
Thanks for the +1 on Olga’s comment, Akash. It’s easy for us to underestimate the value of a kind word and generous listening–maybe it’s not a big deal for us, but it can be a HUGE deal for the person on the other side.
I very glad you jumped into the conversation today, Akash!