You know a rain barrel full of reasons why your consulting firm is better than other firms that do what you do. Among the reasons, of course, is you. Your experience and ideas and unique perspective.
Hence, when Bethany Buttonwerk asked you why her company should work with your consulting firm instead of others she’s talking to, you quickly trotted out all your advantages.

Alas, that lessened your likelihood to win the project!
Oh no. Why’d that happen?
Let’s revisit Bethany’s query.
Unfortunately, she unwittingly asked the wrong question. You then proudly tootled your answers to her mistaken question, which left her dissatisfied, disgruntled, and disinterested. (And you disappointed or dyspeptic.)
Bethany asked something along the lines of, “What makes you better than other consulting firms I could hire for this work?” Or, at its essence:
What makes YOU BETTER than THEM?
Her question makes you think you should be talking about your consulting firm and comparing yourself favorably to other consulting firms.
But what Bethany really wants to know is:
What makes you BEST for ME?
Oh, that’s entirely different.
She doesn’t want to hear about you and your consulting firm. In fact, listening to you place yourself above others is a bit of a turnoff.
She actually wants to hear about herself and how you’ll help her out of her tight predicament.
So, your ideal response hits three points:
- You, Bethany, are who we’re focused on. (Not us.)
- Bethany, you’ll achieve your goals with our consulting firm.
- Bethany, you’re not risking harm when you work with us.
Since you’re an astute consultant, you noticed those three points correspond to the Trust Triangle (mentioned here and explained here) and you realized that to answer them requires extensive discovery!
After all, your discovery process (a.k.a. the Context Discussion) demonstrates your consulting firms’ focus on the client, reveals Bethany’s higher, more valuable goals, and unmasks her concerns.

Bethany’s question and the right response sound like this:
Bethany: What makes you better than other consulting firms?
You: Though that’s a very fair question, we don’t concern ourselves with how we’re better than other firms. We’re totally focused on how we’re best for you. Would it be helpful if I point out how we’re your ideal partner on this project?
Bethany: Of course!
You: Okay, here’s the crazy part… I don’t know for sure yet that we are the best consulting firm for you. Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions about your situation? With more information, I’ll know whether we can absolutely solve your challenge and address your concerns. Would that be okay?
Bethany: Yes. That would be great.
And just like that, you’ve escaped an “ours is better than theirs” competition that casts you in a negative light. Instead, you’re in a deep, collaborative discovery conversation that sets you up to win.
The lure of the “Here’s why we’re better” response is difficult to resist.
We all succumb to it on occasion and it never helps us win an engagement.
Have you ever fallen prey to bragging about your consulting firm instead of focusing on the client’s gain?
Text and images are © 2025 David A. Fields, all rights reserved.
Simple. Pointed. Impactful. This is one of your best pieces. Wow!
Perfect, Laurence. You never know which little nugget is going to resonate with whom. I’m glad this one hit the spot for you, and I look forward to hearing some case studies on how the approach works for you!
Thank you also for sharing your feedback, which is very much appreciated.
Perfection, my friend! Awesome wisdom you shared in your article!
You are so kind, Bob, and the compliment is especially meaningful coming from someone as gifted and respected as you.
Thank you for chiming in today, and for everything you do to support folks who “carry a bag.”
Excellent!
Indeed, Dan. And I’m glad you took a moment to share your reaction.
Perfect! Simple yet easy to miss as our auto response is to talk about us. We learned this from David in our offsite sessions and it’s become muscle memory for us, and it makes a difference! Right side up!
You’re always impressive and inspiring, Frank. It’s one thing to hear these principles and lessons, and quite another thing to embed them into your everyday approach to business. Kudos to you for putting in the work to constantly grow as a professional.
And, of course, thank you for the feedback!
Great one, David. I love the way you illustrate the pivot in the example – it’s not about saying “we’re focused on you”, it’s turning the conversation in a way that shows it’s all about you. Super insightful!
A touch of subtlety can go a long way–particularly for those of us who are chronically blunt! Thank you for picking up on that point and highlighting it, Jonathan!